That's So Canadian Item #5: Wild Turkey News Items

Ok.

So I was just watching the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Company, for those of you who don't parlé), specifically the national news. As expected, it is called CBC The National (see: That's So Canadian Item #1: Endearing Earnesty). While I have a high degree of respect for Canadian journalism in general (Peter Jennings), I managed to catch only the final story tonight. The final ten minutes of the national broadcast (The National broadcast) was dedicated to a story about a wild turkey flying through the front window of a suburban Ottawa home. This is a very dangerous threat to Canadians everywhere, given how many citizens live in wild turkey country.

Now, granted, our national news is not above such things. I know the US news reports on bears falling out of trees, cats finding their ways home, and other such frivolities, but never before have I seen such in-depth coverage of a single-family-wild-animal-encounter that didn't involve death.

Apparently the incident was incited by a beautiful turkey-hen (is that what you call females?) that was hanging around in the back yard. The offending Tom was intrigued, but when he caught his reflection in the window he made a dive straight for the pane glass. The family describes the "explosion and ensuing bedlam" with wide eyes (except for the wordless teenage son) as they relate how they finally captured the turkey -

"we got him pinned under that snow scraper, and my neighbour grabbed a big net he had, I think a salmon net, and wrapped him up. We set him out in the yard, and then he just walked away."

And thus was the turkey incedent ended, but not before the house was sent into turmoil, with fuurniture upturned, shattered glass everywhere, "and even turkey blood on the walls."

"The neighbour, an experienced turkey hunter, says the tom was probably just jealous."

But seriously. They cornered him under the snow scraper? Who has a salmon net just lying around? The neighbour is conveniently an experienced turkey hunter? Now they have turkey blood smeared all over their walls?

Oh, jealous turkey bedlam on national news. That's Sooooo Canadian.

“That’s So Canadian” – Inaugural Installment

Welcome to another great series within the LOLcat blog – “That’s So Canadian”! This is a series where I point out and describe subtle things that make Canada different from the US. And are totally adorable. Here we go!

That’s So Canadian item #4: Kraft Dinner

[note: we’re beginning at four because I’m sure I’ve already condescended to at least three other adorable Canadian things…]

Kraft Dinner is a Canadian phenomenon first introduced to me within a conversation about being an impoverished student. While discussing survival techniques, someone casually mentioned “eating only Kraft Dinner” for six months, to which everyone else nodded knowingly. I said nothing, and filed it away in the “I wonder what the hell they’re talking about” file.

The next night I was watching TV and I saw a commercial for the following product:






That is correct, “Kraft Dinner” is f#*#ing Macaroni and Cheese.

I brought this up the following day at work.

“So, Kraft Dinner, that’s mac and cheese, right?”
“Mac and cheese? What’s mac?”
“Macaroni”
“Oh, yeah, it’s pasta and cheese” [please pronounce the word “paah-sta”]
“So it’s mac and cheese”
“It’s Kraft Dinner.”
“But it’s mac and cheese.”
“It’s Kraft Dinner.”

It’s Kraft Dinner. That’s Sooooooo Canadian.