Orange Pekoe and other things Canadian

Last Thursday I was in the office kitchen when I had what you might call a minor crisis: we were out of Earl Gray. Normally I might have a cup of coffee, but I had already had four coffees that day. That was out of the question. And any other type of tea was unthinkable, too. Apparently tea is only for those who desire a lack of caffeine. There was, however, a suspicious preponderance of orange pekoe. Having grown up on the West Coast, this is a relatively unfamiliar flavour. We have green tea, lots of black tea, and even some very good red tea, but this orange pekoe business just doesn’t make sense.

I tried to explain my despondence at the lack of acceptable caffeination, but received no sympathy from my coworkers. “Why don’t you drink the pekoe,” they said. “What’s wrong with fruit tea?”

What is wrong with fruit tea?!?!?!?

First of all, orange pekoe isn’t really fruit tea. It’s black tea, with some sort of orange “essence.” If I wanted something fruity, I would drink something fruity. Ew. Second, it’s just not very delicious. And yet somehow the Canadians are all about it. Perhaps it’s their subtle reaction against the British – no Lipton for us. We’re drinking orange pekoe.
Perhaps it is their lack of appreciation for good coffee. Granted, I have met many people here who love good coffee. But the majority of Average Canadians love the Tim Hortons. The way they explain this to me is, “It’s good – it’s just like Dunkin’ Donuts.” I don’t know how many things are wrong with this statement Maybe, however, they just like it. Who knows. Maybe it’s similar to the American affinity for peanut butter. It’s funny how tastes can be so linked to culture. In any case, it is a ritual in which I still refuse to participate.

Rather than succumb to the pekoe-hype, I spent a solid twenty minutes trying to discover a different kind of caffeinated tea. I found lemon zest, apple-cranberry, peppermint, spearmint, cozy comfort (who drinks that at work?), chamomile, and barrels of orange pekoe. But not a drop of the Earl to be found. On this day, I went without the afternoon tea, but it was not without a lesson. First, I’ve learned to bring my own tea to the office, so as to guarantee caffeination. Second, I discovered through my various conversations surrounding this tea that Canadians think Americans are brutes, and that we are intolerant of tea-sipping. This is clearly not true. We just prefer to throw our tea into the ocean to make a point. Take that, Canada.

Project Runway Canada, Week 5

It was another exciting and eventful Tuesday night, and if you weren’t there we missed you! I almost thought I was going to watch alone, but fortunately the regulars pulled through at the last minute. There was some kind of pizza crisis that Eric Gallant had to tend to. It’s understandable – it happens to all of us sometimes. Some of the highlights!:

1) The challenge was to create a new fresh look for a divorcee using her wedding dress. Not only did this create the hilarious situation of these “size 0 designers” having to make something for a real person, but they also had to use wedding dress materials. Very challenging, indeed.

2) The winner was again Sonny. He’s “the man to beat,” and really the only one with any kind of skill, let alone imagination. He took the white satin of the dress and made a smart looking skirt suit with an awesome maroon belt. It rocked, and he knew it. Everyone now hates him.

3) The losing outfit was in fact not the worst, but the guy is boring so he had to go home. The dress he had to work with was a brilliant purple sari, with so much potential to be cool, but he made a horrible wrap dress with flowers and crap all over it that just accentuated all of the lady’s worst features (really, who wants something that makes your tummy and butt stick out. Obviously he has never designed for a non-model).

4) The best part about this losing outfit was the judges commentary: one of them actually said, “Who’s sari now?”

5) The lady who SHOULD have gone home made something that was not a dress nor an outfit but actually looked like a potato sack with sleeve holes cut out and grandma lace around the shoulders. And THEN, just for some “style,” a bit of transparent blue crap in the triangles dripping off the bottom hem. When they upload photos to the website I’ll definitely spread it around.

6) This woman who designed this horrible thing that wasn’t anywhere close to being fashion or even a garment got to stay because she called out one of the other designers on “not changing the dress enough.” She actually interrupted the judges to tell them that this other guy had simply hemmed the wedding dress (which was a piece of work – it made Eric shudder every time they showed the photo) and then started yelling at the guy once she got backstage. She is good television. She gets to stay.

7) I discovered that my idea of “Canadian bacon” is a lie. Canadians simply call the ham on pizza “ham.” I always wondered why a Hawaiian pizza would have Canadian bacon on it…

8) Loyalties were tested when Eric claimed that Vernor’s (an American product) is a better ginger ale than Canada dry. While all agreed the Vernor’s had a strong, fruity mouth and a delicate nose, Margaret stood firm in her commitment to Canada Dry as the Champagne of Ginger Ales. Predictably, I was torn.

9) The actual champagne was quite good, pink bubbly from Australia, courtesy of Jonah.

In short, a good time had by all, once again. When the images are up from last night’s runway show, I’ll send the before and after photos around so Eric can freak out about it some more.

Find the images from last night's Project Runway here:

http://runway.globaltv.com/gallery/gallery.aspx?categoryid=7652772272230875301

Wish they had regular images instead of the flash movie, but I guess we have to take what we can get.

Enjoy!

Project Runway Canada, Week 4

Last night’s Project Runway had another record turnout, with representatives from both the work and non-work crowd. And TWO Erics. The show itself was once again a wash, with mediocre design across the board, but there were some highlights:

1) We learned a new word from Jonah: “Comparagraph” Apparently it’s the description he gets of tv shows in competing time slots. I’m going to use it in the future.

2) The challenge for the runway show was to create couture from recycled clothing, in groups, inspired by major fashion houses. The three groups chose Valentino, Versace, and Yves Saint Lauren. Sonny won (again) but not before finding a crotch stain on the bridesmaid dress he used for the fabric. Eeww.

3) There was a major surprise guest! The major surprise guest was Iman, who hosts the show. Good job, producers. But that did let her tell the designers that she was “honored to have been the muse for at least one of YSL’s lines” and he “literally CUT THE FABRIC on my body.” I bet you can imagine how disappointed she was when the YSL team made crappy clothes…

4) During commercials, we caught Margaret up on the youtube sensations that are the Christian Bale freakout, the little boy after the dentist, and the mash-up of the two cultural memes. It was hysterical. Eric Gallant said he laughed so hard he was drooling, not unlike Turner and Hooch. Or more just like Hooch. Not so much Turner.

5) The whiny guy got sent home (which whiny guy? The tall one) after preempting his defense of his garment by telling the judges (without being asked) that he had never heard of Yves Saint Lauren. I’m not even pretending to be a fashion designer and I know a little bit about that. It would be like saying you’ve never heard of Frank Lloyd Wright. You just don’t say that.

6) Next week the designers will be building garments for divorcees out of their wedding dresses. It’s always amusing when they have to make clothes for normal sized people…

That’s the long and short of this week. Put it on your calendar for next week – it’s guaranteed fun!!!

Projce Runway Canada - The weekly Recap

I know most of you don't watch the Canadian version of Project Runway (or the American version, for that matter) but I've been watching and am [dare I say] even more enthralled than I was with the American version. There is really only one true designer of fashion on the show, and the rest is just a train wreck. As such, I've invited people from work over to my house to watch with me. The following day, I send out a "recap" about what everyone missed. It started out as a blatant attempt to convince other people to come over, but has now become its own beast. The people who do not attend (and even those who do) are on my case to get the recap out as soon as possible on Wednesday mornings. It has also been suggested by multiple people that this becomes a public item, so here it is. Look forward to a recap of Project Runway every Wednesday from now on - here are the back-recaps and the most recent, for you enjoyment!

Week One, Jan. 28

If you didn’t watch Project Runway at home, and even if you did, here’s what you missed from last night:

1) 2 (TWO) designers decided to leave before the very first judging event, both for “medical reasons,” though one was really just a general freak out.

2) The theme was “ground breaking design” in camouflage. The guy who was sent home made a “dress” that you could pull up over your head so no one could see you. Quality design, right there.

3) The designers’ house and workshop is literally on a lake in the middle of nowhere outside of Ottawa. Like they have to walk across a bridge to get to it. I think probably that’s because there’s some kind of creative energy hot-spot right there. Nothing else could explain such siting.

4) I drank half a bottle of champagne, with Margaret’s help, before the end of the evening. It was cheap and now I have a headache.

5) Margaret broke my couch. But that’s ok, it’s not really mine anyway J

6) There are ALWAYS peanut m&ms for Project Runway viewing sessions.

Hopefully these facts will convince you to come over next week. It is nearly always guaranteed to be a good time.