That's So Canadian Item #6: The War of 1812

If you are reading this and you are Canadian (particularly from Ontario), you know exactly what I mean. If you are American, you are probably wondering a) which war that was, or b) what does that even have to do with Canada?

Don’t worry – I had the exact same thoughts.

The War of 1812 (I believe also known as the French-Indian War) was a battle over northern borders between the newly-formed US and Britain.

[Both sides created military fortifications, which can still be found by dedicated history buffs, on the banks of Lake Ontario. In fact, these forts exist today both in Ontario and New York, a fact little known to those of us not born/raised in Buffalo.]

In any case, did I mention that it was the BRITISH, because Canada was still part of BRITAIN?

My first encounter with the War of 1812 since arriving in Canada was when a coworker sent out a link to some maps provided by Brock University. I shot back with a “what is a brock” email. To which he replied with an encyclopedic account of the victories of General Brock in the war of 1812, and how Canadians list him as the 27th most important historic figure. Did I know that the Canadians burned down the White House?

Since that time, the War of 1812 continues to come up, not simply because of our work in Niagara on the Lake (site of Fort York and other such War of 1812 things). Every time I mention the lack of military/aggressive initiative in Canada, someone shouts out – “War of 1812! We burned down your White House!” And always that complete phrase. Never just, War of 1812. Every time it must include the assertion about the White House. And I must admit, for the first month or so that was kind of an argument ender for me. I mean, how can you come back from that? I can’t even counter that in the US, we learn of this conflict as the French-Indian Wars, because those were the main forces in conflict. I can’t even bring up that our national anthem was inspired by the Battle of New Orleans, the deciding battle of the war. What did the Canadians even “win,” anyway, other than keeping American forces out….? Nothing I would say could have any weight.

UNTIL

A fateful conversation I had with a coworker of mine. We were talking about a coffee mug in the kitchen, the Bytown Chowder and Drum Corps. I remarked how cute it was that it was a Chowder Corps, and this coworker informed me that “Bytown” town is actually Ottawa, his hometown. Did I know why the capital of Canada is in Ottawa, he asked. Actually, I don’t, I admitted. Well, it used to be in Toronto (that’s why we have a big parliamentary hall downtown) but you guys kept coming up here and burning it down. We moved it to Ottawa so that you would leave us alone.

AHA.

SOOOOO. The Canadian capital city is Ottawa, because the Americans burned them out of Toronto. At least we held our ground, Canada. We didn’t go running to move our capital to Florida. I hope you enjoy Ottawa, with its proximity to Quebec and it’s 100 days of sub-zero weather. Now that I have this ace in the hole, I’m willing to entertain your quaint retellings of how Canadian Forces (that’s what they call their army) beat the US in the War of 1812, even though it was actually Britain. And “beat” means “didn’t get crushed by.” I’ll just quietly ask why your capital is in Ottawa, and you’ll have no good answer defense. You just keep talking about the War of 1812. That’s SOOO Canadian.

____________

For more information on this, start with wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Brock
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_1812

Project Runway Canada, Week 5

It was another exciting and eventful Tuesday night, and if you weren’t there we missed you! I almost thought I was going to watch alone, but fortunately the regulars pulled through at the last minute. There was some kind of pizza crisis that Eric Gallant had to tend to. It’s understandable – it happens to all of us sometimes. Some of the highlights!:

1) The challenge was to create a new fresh look for a divorcee using her wedding dress. Not only did this create the hilarious situation of these “size 0 designers” having to make something for a real person, but they also had to use wedding dress materials. Very challenging, indeed.

2) The winner was again Sonny. He’s “the man to beat,” and really the only one with any kind of skill, let alone imagination. He took the white satin of the dress and made a smart looking skirt suit with an awesome maroon belt. It rocked, and he knew it. Everyone now hates him.

3) The losing outfit was in fact not the worst, but the guy is boring so he had to go home. The dress he had to work with was a brilliant purple sari, with so much potential to be cool, but he made a horrible wrap dress with flowers and crap all over it that just accentuated all of the lady’s worst features (really, who wants something that makes your tummy and butt stick out. Obviously he has never designed for a non-model).

4) The best part about this losing outfit was the judges commentary: one of them actually said, “Who’s sari now?”

5) The lady who SHOULD have gone home made something that was not a dress nor an outfit but actually looked like a potato sack with sleeve holes cut out and grandma lace around the shoulders. And THEN, just for some “style,” a bit of transparent blue crap in the triangles dripping off the bottom hem. When they upload photos to the website I’ll definitely spread it around.

6) This woman who designed this horrible thing that wasn’t anywhere close to being fashion or even a garment got to stay because she called out one of the other designers on “not changing the dress enough.” She actually interrupted the judges to tell them that this other guy had simply hemmed the wedding dress (which was a piece of work – it made Eric shudder every time they showed the photo) and then started yelling at the guy once she got backstage. She is good television. She gets to stay.

7) I discovered that my idea of “Canadian bacon” is a lie. Canadians simply call the ham on pizza “ham.” I always wondered why a Hawaiian pizza would have Canadian bacon on it…

8) Loyalties were tested when Eric claimed that Vernor’s (an American product) is a better ginger ale than Canada dry. While all agreed the Vernor’s had a strong, fruity mouth and a delicate nose, Margaret stood firm in her commitment to Canada Dry as the Champagne of Ginger Ales. Predictably, I was torn.

9) The actual champagne was quite good, pink bubbly from Australia, courtesy of Jonah.

In short, a good time had by all, once again. When the images are up from last night’s runway show, I’ll send the before and after photos around so Eric can freak out about it some more.

Find the images from last night's Project Runway here:

http://runway.globaltv.com/gallery/gallery.aspx?categoryid=7652772272230875301

Wish they had regular images instead of the flash movie, but I guess we have to take what we can get.

Enjoy!

Projce Runway Canada - The weekly Recap

I know most of you don't watch the Canadian version of Project Runway (or the American version, for that matter) but I've been watching and am [dare I say] even more enthralled than I was with the American version. There is really only one true designer of fashion on the show, and the rest is just a train wreck. As such, I've invited people from work over to my house to watch with me. The following day, I send out a "recap" about what everyone missed. It started out as a blatant attempt to convince other people to come over, but has now become its own beast. The people who do not attend (and even those who do) are on my case to get the recap out as soon as possible on Wednesday mornings. It has also been suggested by multiple people that this becomes a public item, so here it is. Look forward to a recap of Project Runway every Wednesday from now on - here are the back-recaps and the most recent, for you enjoyment!

Week One, Jan. 28

If you didn’t watch Project Runway at home, and even if you did, here’s what you missed from last night:

1) 2 (TWO) designers decided to leave before the very first judging event, both for “medical reasons,” though one was really just a general freak out.

2) The theme was “ground breaking design” in camouflage. The guy who was sent home made a “dress” that you could pull up over your head so no one could see you. Quality design, right there.

3) The designers’ house and workshop is literally on a lake in the middle of nowhere outside of Ottawa. Like they have to walk across a bridge to get to it. I think probably that’s because there’s some kind of creative energy hot-spot right there. Nothing else could explain such siting.

4) I drank half a bottle of champagne, with Margaret’s help, before the end of the evening. It was cheap and now I have a headache.

5) Margaret broke my couch. But that’s ok, it’s not really mine anyway J

6) There are ALWAYS peanut m&ms for Project Runway viewing sessions.

Hopefully these facts will convince you to come over next week. It is nearly always guaranteed to be a good time.