Orange Pekoe and other things Canadian

Last Thursday I was in the office kitchen when I had what you might call a minor crisis: we were out of Earl Gray. Normally I might have a cup of coffee, but I had already had four coffees that day. That was out of the question. And any other type of tea was unthinkable, too. Apparently tea is only for those who desire a lack of caffeine. There was, however, a suspicious preponderance of orange pekoe. Having grown up on the West Coast, this is a relatively unfamiliar flavour. We have green tea, lots of black tea, and even some very good red tea, but this orange pekoe business just doesn’t make sense.

I tried to explain my despondence at the lack of acceptable caffeination, but received no sympathy from my coworkers. “Why don’t you drink the pekoe,” they said. “What’s wrong with fruit tea?”

What is wrong with fruit tea?!?!?!?

First of all, orange pekoe isn’t really fruit tea. It’s black tea, with some sort of orange “essence.” If I wanted something fruity, I would drink something fruity. Ew. Second, it’s just not very delicious. And yet somehow the Canadians are all about it. Perhaps it’s their subtle reaction against the British – no Lipton for us. We’re drinking orange pekoe.
Perhaps it is their lack of appreciation for good coffee. Granted, I have met many people here who love good coffee. But the majority of Average Canadians love the Tim Hortons. The way they explain this to me is, “It’s good – it’s just like Dunkin’ Donuts.” I don’t know how many things are wrong with this statement Maybe, however, they just like it. Who knows. Maybe it’s similar to the American affinity for peanut butter. It’s funny how tastes can be so linked to culture. In any case, it is a ritual in which I still refuse to participate.

Rather than succumb to the pekoe-hype, I spent a solid twenty minutes trying to discover a different kind of caffeinated tea. I found lemon zest, apple-cranberry, peppermint, spearmint, cozy comfort (who drinks that at work?), chamomile, and barrels of orange pekoe. But not a drop of the Earl to be found. On this day, I went without the afternoon tea, but it was not without a lesson. First, I’ve learned to bring my own tea to the office, so as to guarantee caffeination. Second, I discovered through my various conversations surrounding this tea that Canadians think Americans are brutes, and that we are intolerant of tea-sipping. This is clearly not true. We just prefer to throw our tea into the ocean to make a point. Take that, Canada.